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Uncle Crusty

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Uncle Crusty
Uncle Crusty2015
Creator Uncle Crusty
Creation September 27, 2012
Debut Uncle Crusty's
Arm Flailing Session
Type Madman
Alignment Chaotic Neutral
Attitude Deranged, sadistic
Friendly (If befriended)
Fighting style Short Range
Abilities Reality Bending
Ear Rape
Weaknesses Logic
Forgets JiuJitsu when in need
Status Alive
Occupation Ear Rapist,
Subordinates The Crusty Crew

Uncle Crusty is a lunatic RED Soldier Freak created by YouTube user Uncle Crusty, who, despite sharing name, is not the creator's TF2sona. For this reason, he's often dubbed Soldier Crusty.


Uncle Crusty wears an Armored Authority, a Fancy Dress Uniform, Killer's kit and Mantreads. He always has a creepy-looking grin on his face, and sometimes a Soldier's Stogie.


Not much is known about him since he changes his origin story all of the time, all we know is that he isn't an actual Uncle, and no one knows why he calls himself an "Uncle".

Behavior and Personality

He is an extremely psychotic and saytromaniacal Soldier, similar to RubberFruit and GAYPENlS. His behavior is very asylum-worthy and somewhat questionable.

Extraordinarily unpredictable in both actions and words, he often performs mischievous acts on other mercenaries or Freaks which most of the time results in Crusty hurt, dead, or if lucky, running away laughing like a hyena. If Uncle Crusty emerges victorious however, he will often strike a humorous pose and perform the "Devil Horn" hand gesture.

If someone is friendly to him in any way, however, he drops most of these depraved and maniacal traits of his, and becomes friendly.

He has a fondness of yelling very loudly (commonly referred to Ear Rape) and will commence such an act when he just flat out feels like it, but if someone angers him, he becomes vengeful and relentless.

In addition, he's known to be egotistical, calling his pranks 'art that no one can compare'.

It is confirmed that he is a drug addict; his Stogie has marijuana instead of tobacco and even has his own brand of cannabis (dubbed Paintrainabis). His insane behavior may stem from, one would think, brain damage from repeated abuse of such substances.

The Crusty Crew

Through some miracle, Uncle Crusty actually recruited a group of similarly deranged madmen. They're dedicated to a single objective: Complete Anarchy and the "Mindfuckery of the Universe" (whatever this may mean). Whether they are actually trying to accomplish this or instead only sit on their lazy rears annoying each other is anybody's guess. They are:

  • The Moman, Green Haired Heavy Munitions Expert and a Veteran of the "Great Dorito War" of 2005. He possesses the ability to pull whatever object he wants to out of his kilt.
  • Officer Painis, a Los Angeles Police Officer who fell to the Crusty Crew's influence, He is most known for being the sane one of the group.
  • Amateur Topshelf, a French Hitman who tried to cook is own semen, gave himself 3rd Degree Burns in the process, and wound up driving him fuckin' nuts. He possesses the ability to play Snake with his entire body.
  • Dispenser Heavy, a Meme Spewing Faggot who only wants a Dispenser, His only ability is his Faster-than-Scout Speed.
  • Golden Heavy, formerly Cyborg Heavy, the Enforcer and Strongest Member of the Crew. Golden Heavy turned Gay while he was trapped within the "Zone of Edginess".
  • Strange Demoman, a Standposed BLU Zombie Demoman that can only move his limbs and make facial expressions by Self-Ubering, Only speaking in words like "HooH".
  • Hornoman, an Extremely Horny Demoman who is able to explode and kill himself upon climax.
  • Pain Train Surprise, a Heavy with a Pain Train Head with the ability to fly.
  • Fat Fuck Frank, a 40 year old Metal Fabricator from Louisiana who has the ability to eat nearly anything. He also suffers from constant sweating and breathing problems.
  • Dr. Feelgood, a Medic who can bring nearly any kind of fetish into existence.

Powers and Abilities

Like most TF2 Freaks, he is ambivalent towards others and he has been known to attack without warning or provocation- however similarities end there: unlike most freaks, all of his accomplishments are done to an extensive degree of psychopathy.

While one would expect him to be rather stupid based on his notoriety as a maniac, he is surprisingly crafty, and has a colossal supply of resources that he often uses to prank others and/or get out of trouble. In fact, Uncle Crusty often bends reality to his will in order to succeed or avoid authorities.

He has the extraordinary ability to create a loud, obnoxious noise loud enough to damage people's ears and/or make a person's head explode.

When angered (or sometimes when he flat out wants to) he will tackle someone and/or punch them. In fact, Uncle Crusty has a Black Belt in JiuJitsu. It's rumored that he also has impressive strength, but this is unconfirmed.

Faults and Weaknesses

He is a nutcase and mentally unstable, which can lead to an eventual downfall and can be easily outwitted by other Freaks. In fact, anyone presenting him with any form of logic will weaken the Freak.

Apparently, he seems to forget his JuiJitsu training when the situation calls for it, and seeing how he possibly has no enhanced fitness, this leaves him defenseless against a threat.


  • Uncle Crusty was conceptualized as a mixture of the TF2sonas of RubberFruit and GAYPENlS. After a few videos, he was developed into a hybrid of a TF2Sona and a TF2 Freak, until the creator made a different Heavy character as his TF2Sona and turned Crusty into an actual Freak.

Notable Videos

By the Creator

By the Community

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